This is the part that I will be honest with you. Being a software engineer is hard. Also, being a mother is hard too. But when you combine the two, software engineering and motherhood, life becomes a real challenge. I know I will get hear from many people some valid questions. Why do you keep working as an engineer? And why not become a full-time mother and take care of my kids? I understand those questions but how to choose between two passions of mine.
Becoming A Professional Software Engineer – Reaching My Dreams
I have to admit that I wanted to become a software engineer ever since I was a child but I was something I was never encouraged to pursue. I live in a poor family that couldn’t afford to have a computer at the time, and the closest thing I had to a computer was a word processor, which is basically a glorified typewriter that used a monitor and a floppy disk to display and save your work respectively.
When I first tried to get into computers at school, basically I was turned down. The computer teacher’s first excuse about not allowing me in the class was because I wasn’t in the theater club and the second, rather lame excuse, was that he didn’t have available spots in his class. You see, there was nothing but boys in his class learning how to program in basic while he had the girls working on theater pros. I’m very confident that if I meet this teacher again, I will make it a point that ‘Hey I made it as a developer, no thanks for your help.’
After this rather lame encounter of trying to become a programmer, I started to pursue other things in life, but eventually, I gravitated back to my passion, Software Engineering. Did I encountered many stereotyping about being a woman software engineer, I have to admit that I have but that hasn’t stopped me from becoming a Sr. Software Engineer. So my hiatus in becoming a programmer didn’t end my drive of becoming good at what I have always wanted to be, but there was another thing that wiggles it is into my heart after meeting my husband.
Becoming A Mother
I have to admit that it wasn’t until I met my husband and was in my thirties that the motherhood itch started to kick in. At the time I was beginning to climb the professional ladder and became the family’s primary income earner. Seriously, if my husband wanted to be the stay at home parent, he could very well do so.
There was a part of me that wanted to experience motherhood while also being true to my profession. Do not get me wrong, I was scared of how I was going to deal with both job and motherhood, which I later found don’t always go hand in hand nor like to play nice with each other, but I wanted it so much to work.
So after some time of being married, and I have to admit after a lot of begging too, my husband and I decided to take the jump and become parents. I have to admit that it was terrifying, to say the least, that I was totally not ready for what was about to come.
Balancing Act – How To Juggle Motherhood And Software Engineering
I will not lie to you when my kids were added to the equation things become harder. This is a hard topic to get down in writing because when you think you have everything figured out something entirely new pops-up and redefines your entire life and views. Experience has not been comfortable trying to balance out being a wife, mother, and a professional.
Sometimes I wonder if my loved ones are delighted with all of my efforts. When trying to balance out my work and personal life, everything gets affected, and there is no guarantee that things will get done a 100% of how I planned it but being in a field that focuses on problem-solving and offering solutions to our customers, there are always creative ways to make things work. It is not always easy, but in the end, things end up fitting like pieces of a perfect puzzle.
The central and most important detail about balancing work and personal life was to get my entire family involved in the process of helping each other and to understand that we all need a chance at being successful and that if one of us is struggling, we all strive together.
How To Deal With Conflicts – When Both Engineering And Motherhood Collide
I will not paint the whole picture as being picture perfect. We all struggle. I have struggled a lot. And it all boils down to how we help each other on how to face and solve our problems. It takes a team to stay afloat, and if everyone works together, the professional and family boat will float along in harmony.
It will not be an easy journey because everyone is different, even inside of a family nucleus, but if communication is healthy, we do not have to worry about failing our family. Like I mentioned discussion is everything when trying to balance out work and family, and it is also the only way to solve any conflicts that are sure to occur during our journey.
Compromise Between Motherhood And Your Professional Life
Compromise is a word that we live by in our household, and it’s something we should all give it a try. Although it’s hard at time to please everyone, compromise focuses on reflecting on what is really important in what we want and want to achieve.
We all need to be listened to and get close to what we want out of life. If we don’t compromise, there is always a losing and a winning party, still leaving someone feeling defeated and inadequate in the family. It has been essential in our family that we listen to each other. I will not lie, we start seeing an increase in conflict when we stop communicating and become so engrossed in our own project that we stop listening to those that surround us.
It is vital that software engineering and motherhood do not collide and work in perfect harmony. I understand that a compromise approach to being both a professional and a mother will guarantee a successful work-life balance and a happy life where I can be both a mother and a professional role model for my children. Most important, and the main thing my kids can take away, is that when they set their minds to something they can achieve anything when there are balance and compromise.
In retrospect, Software engineering defines who I am as a professional individual. I want to achieve great things in life, and I wish to inspire more girls and women to become software engineers and embrace the field I love so much. I want my daughter to look at me once she is older and thinks that she can be and do anything she had set her mind on but also I want her to honestly believe that she can take on her dreams while also having kids. Being a mother shouldn’t stop you from reaching your goals of becoming a professional. In my opinion, it enhances the experience because you will treasure every second you spend with your kiddos. Additionally, you will also cherish every minute you spend doing what you love while away from your little ones.
